Check out the Latest Articles:
Angry Call = Learned Wisdom

A woman across the street on Jefferson and Randolph leaving her parking attendant job is talking on her phone. She is speaking at volume that alerts the population of 60661 exactly what is plaguing her. I imagine a scenario in my head where I ask her, “Were you raised in a deaf community?” She would answer, “No.” To which I would retort, “because you speak at volume that would suggest otherwise.” (The frequency of these scenarios in my head happen often. Sometime I even turn into a vigilante ninja fighting for the general public to create a better co-existence. In actuality, I do nothing.) I also know this call is angry because she puts her cell phone up to her ear to hear, then pulls the cell phone away from her ear to yell into the receiver when it is her turn to share in the conversation. Maybe she doesn’t understand yet, that technology has advanced enough where you can leave the phone up to your ear and people will still be able to hear what you’re saying. Maybe she’s trying to make a point by performing a physical gesture to display her irritation to someone on the other line who can see nothing of this physical gesture. Maybe she’s a genius.

What I do know about this woman, based on her conversation, is that

a. people are in love with her
b. she is so adored that people are begging her to stay in their lives.
c. she is irritated with her popularity

Perhaps it’s her engaging conversational skills that keeps them coming back for more.

“YOU NEED TO MOVE THE F*** ON! OK! YOU NEED TO MOVE THE F*** ON! THIS AIN’T MY FAULT! I DIDN’T DO A F***ING THING! UH UH! I DON’T THINK SO! YOU NEED TO MOVE THE F*** ON! OK! OK? OK! YOU NEED TO MOVE THE F*** ON!”

Then the strangest thing happened – I think to myself she’s right. I dwell on obstacles for way too long, when I could be out there making something happen for myself. Oh wisdom, you strike me in the most unusual of places. It’s time to start taking a stand in my own life. To the woman who was on an angry call 4 blocks away, thank you. It’s true, sometimes we all need to move the F*** on. OK?!

Couple Friends

I’m dating again — for couple friends.

People are constantly on the look-out for someone they can connect with in relation to where they are in their lives at that time. This time is: Couple Time.

I have to admit, when I meet a couple that’s in love or recently fallen in love or just high-functioning, I’m totally stoked. And yes, of course its because of all the warm fuzzies that go along with being in love, but honestly, I can’t help but immediately think, “Couple Friend Potential!”

Set the Scene:

You meet up at bar because it’s a neutral location. You laugh, share jokes, talk about how long you’ve been together, where you met, your favorite things to do together. You already have inside jokes about how Sally does this or Johnny does that and how you’re so much like that totally and stuff. Then the night ends. You wonder, “who should reach out to who? Do I facebook them? Will I look too eager if I’m already thinking of the next time we can meet up? Will it be at the new wing of the Art Museum that I haven’t seen yet? Can I combine couple friends or would that spoil the chemistry of the couple-friendship-soup that we’re working on?”

Appreciation for my already established friends still holds strong. But many of them have moved on to different places in their lives. Most have moved onto parenthood, some to divorcehood, some to God-Knows-Where, some haven’t moved on since they were 21 and some quite literally have moved.

I can’t help but imagine what kind of people Sir Optimization and I will be dating at the different stages of life down the road.
- Parent friends (for the distant future),
- Homeowner friends
- Honda Fit friends
- Horse ranch friends
- Famous friends
- Famous Blogger friends

Although as much as I like to project, perhaps I should stick with the right now. I have some couple friends in the pipeline. Maybe we’ll get to the point where we’re so comfortable with each other that we can have dinner parties at each others houses and not be judged for our family-focused-living room adorned with pictures of ourselves and other people we love (our parents, siblings, friends, Jason Bateman, etc.) We’ll irresponsibly drink on a Sunday night and confess our fears of being a bad parent, moving to the suburbs and thwarting our addiction to Nordstrom’s Rack.

It’s tough out there, but I think we’re ready to start dating.

The Stuff Kids Say

My sister and my recently turned 7-year-old niece came to visit my humble abode last Friday. It was the second time a child had visited our apartment and the second time I realized how child unfriendly it is. It’s everything from the deadly cornered tables, exposed outlets and lack of cable.
My [...]

Valentine’s Day Baking Chronicles

Remember how I said that Sir Optimization and I were nerds?  Well, for Valentine’s Day this year, we decided to make our own dinner.  Which seems fairly normal and not nerdy-like.  The nerdy part though: we took pictures of our dinner. And then, when were out later that night, we showed off our pictures to [...]

AOL or Ada Online

Ada does a lot of things well. She cooks well. She hosts parties well. She cleans very well. In fact, my dad often refers to our house as “cleaner than the surgery rooms at the hospital.”  Never have I known a person who makes you clean all the hair out of [...]

Wii’ve Got A Problem

My husband was once a well-polished, professional man who was creative and loved me. But things have changed recently. He has become distracted and disheveled. His embraces reflect that of a brother who hugs you out of fear that not hugging you might be even more awkward – they are brief and [...]