Since when did “don’t” become the new “do” phrase? Everyday it seems I am introduced to someone’s new-found wisdom on what I shouldn’t be doing. And how many more days am I going to have to suit up in my leave-me-the-hell-alone-with-your-righteous-negativity armor? It seems like everyone has some kind of advice to give and it all revolves around NOT doing something.
- Don’t get fired
- Don’t get married
- Don’t have children
- Don’t take a day off of work
- Don’t get your hopes up
- Don’t eat cancer
o It is more along the lines of don’t eat anything because everything will give you cancer. So I guess whatever I eat, I’m eating cancer. Stop it. Stop the cancer-eating.
Hear me through:
Recently, I had a brief run-in with a quarter life crisis. I was like, “Hey ¼ Life, I’m thinking that you should start turning out the way I planned for you to turn out.” And ¼ Life was like, “Yeah, see, I don’t know that that’s gonna happen.” And I’m like, “what the hell ¼ Life, can’t you like just be cool?” And ¼ Life was like, “Yeah, man, that’s really not my game plan right now.”
So you can see there were some altercations between ¼ Life and I. ¼ Life tied me up to its old rickety bumper by my ankles, with my hands behind my back. As ¼ Life drug me through the town square (my skull of ideas and hopes bouncing off the concrete) I got to see all the things that were magnanimous about life, belonging to someone else. My career, uncertain. My education, unusable. My relationship-status, questionable.
Needless to say, I was furious with ¼ Life; how rude to overshadow my plans! I went to the fam for consolation. ERROR. ERROR. ERROR. Those are the signs I should have seen. It was like walking onto the front lines of WWII w/o so much as a toothpick, happy watercolor paint sticks, and gooey-chewy-bubble gum for my weapons.
With unprecedented & unfiltered rage I heard:
Family member #1: Don’t get married, Bridge.
Family member #2: Are you really doing all you can with your life?
Family member #3: Don’t get married. All men are stupid Bridge.
Family member #4: Don’t go to school for THAT degree!
Family member #5: Don’t go in there, I clogged the toilet again.
Clearly, I was surrounded by the support system of a Minnesota Bridge. (Too soon?).
So after debating on where I should move to get away from the madness that was my family, my lovely significant other said, “You don’t have to move to another state to avoid your family’s advice.”
I did sit on what had happened for awhile and after time spent doing things for myself, I don’t listen to advice anymore. Well, I do listen to advice, but I’m a bit more choosey and sometimes say, Thanks but I don’t need it. And all of a sudden things started making more sense! There are some don’ts that do make things ok.
- Don’t ignore what you already know is right for you.
- Don’t give up on things just because they get difficult.
- Don’t listen to your family when they are angry and they hate you.
- Don’t argue with a drunk Cubs fan
- Don’t argue with a drunk sports fan
- Don’t argue with a fan.
And most importantly, don’t argue with Life when it’s got a game plan.
