So I’m ready. I’m ready for June of 2009. I promised I wouldn’t talk about being engaged for another entry, but it has been a big part of the past month. It has been the thing that everyone at work asks me about. It has been the thing that turned the cheeks of my family. It has been the thing that consumes my net-surfing.
To be honest, I kinda figured it would happen; being an engaged person takes on a personality of its own. The challenging part is to try and maintain a sense of normalcy while all of it is happening. It is difficult. I just put a frozen pizza in the oven. To eat. I don’t eat pizza. Let alone buy it on my own accord and eat alone in my cluttered apartment. I smile at people. I never even look at people. Let alone acknowledge their existence in a pleasant way. I’ve finally thrown out all my Bop Magazines featuring Jonathon Taylor Thomas (good-bye, love). I bathe now. It’s just gotten to be too much.
Although there is a bonus to wearing a ring on your finger: You can be nice to other men. For the longest time, when I was cordial and acting like my normal, goofy self around other men, they would assume that I’d want to carry their demon seed. WRONG. That’s just who I am. So when I went into a guitar store yesterday to make my big purchase (next to my grad school thing of which I officially became a drop-out, whoops) there was a gentleman who was helping me. It was about closing time and there was a moment. Everyone knows “the moment”. For a guy, “the moment” is when you have the split second chance to ask a girl you find attractive out for a cup of doin’-it or leave it be, wondering for the rest of your life how cute your demon seed would been with her.
“The moment” for the girl is the time, where if you’re interested, you stall by shuffling your weight back and forth, smiling big and accidentally flashing your birth control pills to let him know you are certified in won’t-call-you-for-child-support sex. “The moment” for a girl who is not interested consists of her finding any way to mention her boyfriend in a conversation that doesn’t call for it at all, “Oh really, you also do silk-screening? My boyfriend likes to play with sidewalk chalk sometimes,” or “Oh you want to go out sometime? Wow that’s really sweet. But my boyfriend doesn’t like me dating other men who don’t want to come over and play sidewalk chalk.”
BUT when you’re engaged or married, “the moment” can be pacified with a flirtatious movement of the bangs with your left hand. This relays the message, “Thanks, honey, I bet you’re really sweet, but I just sold my one ticket to The Bridge Show: Greatest Show on Earth.”
So there you have it folks, the pros and cons. Get gaged.
