Whoever said that the awkwardness of your teens ends when you turn 20? I’ve come to the conclusion that life is one big bout with puberty (cue the exclamation, “son of a bitch!”). When I was 14, I had the jaded point-of-view of 30-year-old and the confidence of the pathetic training bra that just barely put forth the effort to hold up the source of my insecurity. Wait, that wasn’t it. It was my gangly body, big bangs and “weird” personality that were the source of my insecurity. Boys didn’t like the weird girls.
When I was 20, I had the confidence of a 40-year-old executive and the professional skill of 14-year-old girl. That was quite apparent in my job interviews: “So what you’re saying (glance down at resume), Bridget, is that you’ve never actually written a press release before?” And I confidently said, “Nope!” Nope??? Stupid girl. (that one’s for you Ev).
When I was 23, I was really just 16 all over again. Talk about the crappy times; one year out of college, living with my parents, working a soul-sucking job, adjusting to working full time and understanding why people would pull a Chris McCandless on their own lives. (the adventurous side, not the dying from poisonous plants side).
Then there’s the stage where your mind tells you that you can drink what you used to and your body reminds you, “Ok punk, you wanna learn the hard way? Fine, but it hurts me more than it hurts you.” Silly body, it hurts us the same. We’re one remember? Like a happy family or the items in a value meal. Apparently, I like learning the hard way, because I keep forgetting about that valuable lesson. What’s wrong with Vodka, Pinot & Bud having a party in my stomach on the same night? Oh yeah, they always end up fighting. I try so hard to use my peacemaking tools of cold water and a wagging finger in my larynx. But to no avail, I always have to bail them out into the drunk tank in the morning.
So then you start figuring out the alcohol thing and then comes the friend issue. It seems like the older you get, the more you struggle to relate to your old friends and at the same time, struggle more to find honest friendships with new people. Remember when our friends used to define our lives? Now our lives are defining our friends. Life’s like the really quiet and witty uncle that was always one step ahead of you. Even as an adult! Sometimes I just want to stomp my feet and say, “Let me call the shots for once, life! And quiet, witty uncle!”
Even so, I’m almost looking forward to seeing what other awkward moments will freakishly greet me while I’m looking elsewhere. Boys may not like weird girls, but awkward moments love us.
