Mondays are my most productive days. Contrary to popular belief, they are! This morning I decided that I was going to get up BEFORE work and go for a run. While I was running I couldn’t help but think to myself, “This really is not my favorite thing in the world.” And so I will do it again. I guess I’m slightly masochistic like that. After work, I returned my library books –on time- bought a new guitar and cancelled my gym membership.
Running: I never really liked it but I still do it. Anything that involved coordination detoured from my abilities. Running is the only thing I can do where I get exercise and avoid the shame that comes with lacking general talent. Doing it before work just increased my talent-level a smidgen. (Getting up before work to do something does require talent.)
Returned my library books on time: Remember when I talked about talent? Yeah, it might just make an appearance here as well.
I bought a new guitar: Tell me if this was a bit extreme. I bought a new guitar that was a significant amount of money. Well I went into the store that I had been into before where I had once caressed that sweet implement of music in my very own lap. I knew what I wanted, I just had to get it. Here’s how it plays out. As I enter the store I ask, “Do you ship?” The sales clerk says: “Anywhere in the world actually.” I asked, “how much,” and he told me. I said, “Well in that case, I’d like you to ship my guitar to Iowa.” Now, I don’t have an address in Iowa. But my friend does and she will be visiting me in 2 weeks. Why ship it to my friend in Iowa who plays no instruments? The amount of money it would have cost me to pay for shipping is less than the disgusting 10.25% sales tax that Chicago has pushed upon its down-trodden citizens. The actually savings for this ordeal? About $15. It may seem like a lot of trouble just to save a few dollars, but it’s the principal dang it. The dang-gonned principal!! The sales clerk had given me a puzzled look followed by a peaking judgment that says, “This girl just spent a significant amount of money on a guitar and is now going to have it shipped to a different state to save $15? Are you sure you can afford the guitar lady?” “It’s principal!!” I screamed. He backed away frightened that I had just responded to what he thought was his inner monologue. Oops.
I cancelled my gym membership: Typical gym-membership story, I got sucked in, thinking I’d go religiously and be so totally pumped up. I did go.. by it a lot. But never really went it in as often as I went by it. Really, most of the things you need to get healthy, you can get outside of a gym. Walk. Anywhere. You could even walk to the grocery store (blasphemy!). Eat vegetables. Cut down vodka consumption to after 11 a.m. Don’t drink the toilet water. Either way.. blasting my pecks 3 or 4 times a year wasn’t worth it to me. Judge me if you want like Mr. Guitar Sales Clerk guy. But he too, thought he had an inner monologue. Silly mistake…
