‘Tis the season, friends, the season of weddings. Most may think that the “wedding season” starts in May and ends in September. Most may be wrong. The wedding season actually starts when you are 24 and ends when you’re dead. It’s March 22nd and I have been to two weddings already with plans to attend five more (one of them is my own) this year. Many of my friends average 5-8 weddings a year. They are always a good time, unless of course there is tension between you and the MVPs or a creepy uncle that makes it awkward. My point is, when you go to so many of one type of an event, you develop a routine. I’ve chosen to chronicle the wedding of my friend, Mark and his wife Kim, to tell a wedding guest’s story.
First Step:
Put back a few vodka tonics before dinner starts so you feel more comfortable conversing with people you’ve never met and will probably never see again.
Second Step:
Make an attempt to take pictures of special moments between the couple, realizing that you’re camera skills suck and that they probably already have it handled with a photographer that cost the couple ½ a year’s rent. (Featured here is my attempt to take a picture of the couple’s entrance to the Star Wars theme. Yep. There were light sabers. George Lucas would have been proud. I love weirdness at weddings.)
Third Step:
Eat to absorb the four vodka tonics you pounded because they were so very refreshing and so very free.
Fourth Step:
Take a picture of you looking like the elephant man.
Fifth Step:
Document your amazing dance moves. Weddings are the only place you can gyrate like an idiot in front of complete strangers and justify it with “Hey, we’re at a wedding!”… and a boat-load of booze.
Sixth Step:
Get a picture w/ at least one MVP to prove that you’re actually friends with the newlyweds.
Seventh Step:
Wash, rinse and repeat. May 24th. Anne’s wedding. She better have the vodka ready.
