While recently analyzing the traffic that comes through this nifty little blog, I have learned something interesting about its virtual urban plan. Every single state in the United States has viewed thebridgebeat , except for two. The states who have managed to avoid The Bridge’s web presence completely are: Vermont and North Dakota.
This fact has led me to ask some questions. Even when dozens of different countries have viewing representation on thebridgebeat, what leaves these two states to sunder?
I did some research on Vermont and North Dakota to learn a little bit about the missing pieces of my viewership.
Vermont Facts
from 50states.com:
- Their capital, Montpelier, is the only U.S. State capital without a McDonald’s.
- Until 1996, they were the only state without a Walmart.
- They feed left over Ben & Jerry’s to local hogs. They will eat any flavor but mint oreo.
- Vermont has the greatest number of dairy cows in the country.
Facts derived from Vermont.gov
- Their state beverage is milk
- Their state bird is the Hermit
- Their state fossil is the White Whale fossil
- Their state fruit and pie are apple and apple pie
The Bridge Concludes That Vermont Does Not Visit Because:
- The people of Vermont are ticked off that I gave up dairy in my fasting discussion.
- They know how much I love ice cream and are astounded that I would consider giving that up too. (Coincidentally, Mint Oreo is my favorite. Take that hogs. I’d even eat it out of a trough.)
- They are too preoccupied with buying cheaply-grown-pesticide-squandered apples from Walmart in order to make apple pies and spend more time throwing White Whale fossils at Hermits. (I hear those birds are real sky bastards.)
North Dakota Facts
from 50states.com:
- 1987 was the year English became North Dakota’s official language.
- Milk is the official state beverage
- Grows more sunflowers than any other state
- North Dakota University research experiment station in Hettinger is the longest state owned sheep research center in the U.S.
Facts derived from ND.gov:
- Their state fish is the Northern Pike
- Frank L. McVey wrote their creed
- Their state fruit is the chokecherry
- Their state dance is the square dance
The Bridge Concludes That North Dakota Does Not Visit Because:
- Similar to Vermont, they can’t believe I would attempt to quit milk.
- They are too busy trying to market the many uses of a chokecherry.
Hmmm, chokecherry chokepie, chokecherry chokehold, chokecherry choke-a-chola. - They know I have an insatiable need to eat sunflower seeds 24 hours a day, but they still don’t care because I’m quitting milk.
- Frankie McV and me have a questionable past. Let’s just say I know why they called him Creed Master Flash.
- I borrow the words of their official language to write a silly blog that 8.5 people read on a regular basis (thank you, 8.5).
- My love for fish is only for Halibut. Besides Northern Pike reminds me of Christopher Pike, the R.L. Stine-preteen-mystery-novel competitor. That makes me and my awful associations a little too weird of a partner with whom to square dance.
- I don’t post enough blogs about sheep and how they are controlled by the government for long periods of time.
Vermont and North Dakota, I understand why you don’t visit me. But I promise that if you do, I won’t let you down. So if you are from either of these states, please share your thoughts. You’re welcomed here. Cheers! This cold glass of soy milk is for you.
