1.) Let us be proud of red, white and blue.
- But let us not be proud of blue with black, red with gold or white with black as those are all colors of prominent drug gangs in Chicago.
2.) Let us all be patriotic to a fault by listening to Toby Keith.
- Is putting a boot in someone’s ass really the American way? I guess when you can sue McDonald’s for serving hot coffee and win, then perhaps it is the American way.
3.) Let us not debate with recently inducted U.S. Citizens.
- They know more about our country than we do. Can you recite the first 10 Amendments? No? But I bet you know where Justin Beiber was spotted last night.
Speaking of our Amendments. This next section is called - How Chicagoans Use the Amendments
Try to Change Them
Amendment II: Right of people to bear arms not to be infringed. A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.
Daley's Got No Good Shot at a Gun Ban
”As long as I’m mayor, we will never give up or give in to gun violence that continues to threaten every part of our nation, including Chicago,” said Daley. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100702/ap_on_re_us/us_chicago_gun_ban
If we all pack heat, then maybe the violent Chicago crimes will begin to lose their edge. If Ms. Retired English Teacher can carry a gun and has a sniper-like-shot, then a gun’s street cred pluments to a D+. The teacher though? She might get a higher score.
Ignore Them Completely
Amendment 8: Cruel and Unusual Punishment. The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.
"You either tell me now or I make you watch Two and a Half Men."
Give ’em the Ol’ Razzle Dazzle
Amendment 6: Right to Speedy Trial, Confrontation of Witnesses. In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defense.
"Your Honor, I didn't say f**k about f**k."
Be Open to Interpretation
Amendment 17: Senators Elected by Popular Vote.
So by “vote” you mean “sell” right?
"Personal checks will do."
Making It Your G-D Own
Amendment 1 : Freedom of Speech and Religion.
Making his speeches a religion and a cult following.
"Now, no more goddamn questions."
On this Independence Day, I encourage all Chicagoans, to keep it classy.
