On Saturday, July 17th, thousands of women and 8 men stood in line with no shade and 100 degree heat to relive a concert that epitomized the late 90s — Lilith Fair. However, the only thing this day ended up epitomizing was the phrase, you can’t go back home. Save for the last 3 performers at Lilith Fair, the event itself, was a Lilith Fail.
Let me begin by saying I actually never went to Lilith Fair before this weekend. I always regretted it too. At the time, I was in high school and probably a. couldn’t afford it or b. used my concert-going-permission-plea to go to Aerosmith instead. (Yes, I shamefully regret I went to Aerosmith. But I shamefully regret even more so the tie-dye t-shirt I bought from the concert for $20 that I would proudly wear to school as if to say, “I may be a choir nerd and get all jazzed about SATB arrangements but I can still party at rock concerts with my parent’s strict supervision.”)
Below are the reasons that Lilith Fair became a Lilith Fail:
1.) The Venue: First Midwest Bank Amphitheater, “Where you pay us to treat you like a criminal!”
Formerly the Tweeter Center, Formally The World
This is a stock photo - there were not this many men or people in general at the concert.
a. Their Rules
One would assume that there are some regulations when going to a concert venue. Below is the list of First Midwest Bank’s regulations:
Items PERMITTED in this venue include:
Snack food in clear plastic gallon-size bag or soft sided cooler.
Factory sealed plastic bottle of water (20 oz. maximum, and limited to one per person.)
Low profile beach chair (no taller than 9” off the ground.)
Diaper bags when a child is present.
Items NOT PERMITTED in this venue include:
Weapons
Alcohol
Drugs
Lawn chairs over 9” from the ground
Laser pointers
Skates
Wallet chains
Ice chests
Banners
Backpacks
Flyers
Beach balls
Frisbees
Fireworks
Outside food or beverage (except as noted)
Video and audio recording devices (unless otherwise noted)
I had in my bag a water bottle that was empty. EMPTY. And I was not allowed to bring it into the stadium. But I could bring a factory sealed water bottle into the joint? Were they afraid that I was going to take my water bottle to the fountain and fill it up with… god forbid.. WATER?? Were they going to take out a contraption that checks to see if my store-bought-water-bottle is TRULY factory-sealed? It was 100 degrees in the sun with no shade! Come on now, FMB Amphitheater, have a little humanity. My fellow concert attendee was asked to throw away her Vitamin Water. Why? Because they were selling Vitamin Waters inside the venue for $7.00.. a bottle. I just threw up in my mouth reliving that realization. That and the fact that I spent $18.00 on 2 Bud Lights. They really get you in there. And that really got me.
b. Crusty Staff
“You can’t stand here. Move it along.” Because sales were low, there were more staff than concert attendees and most of them were extremely crusty. I know it’s hot, but you have a pretty tame crowd here. 98% of us were women and 90% of the 98% were women in cargo shorts, tank tops w/ racer back bras and boat shoes. Everyone was there to have a little fun and listen to some music. It’s not like Heart’s Barracuda was going to have gays and straights alike whipping out wallet chains to clobber one another over the head because we were so entranced thinking, “I bet they really ARE going to ambush me. And have me down down down down on my knees. Will they? Barracuda?” Listen, I just spent nearly $10 on one very watered down beer, $7 on a Vitamin Water so I don’t die of heat stroke – now back the freak off so I can stand in the aisle for a minute and catch my breath.
c. The Sound
Was horrible. During the first 3 acts, La Roux, Court Yard Hounds & Heart, the vocals were turned up so loudly that you couldn’t hear the rest of the ensemble. Or maybe it was just La Roux. The next time I want to hear my 5-year-old nephew throw a temper tantrum into a microphone, I’ll turn on La Roux.
2. Zero Communication
We arrived to the torture chamber of a venue at 3:00, the hottest time of the day with militant water regulations and no shade. We set up blankets after waiting in line for 30 minutes to enter the lawn area. We waited. We sweat. We waited. We sweat. The concert didn’t even begin until 6 p.m. There was no line-up or any communication on the website about such immense details. BUT, in true terrible fashion of the FMB Amphitheater, they were selling post cards for $1 to tell you who was playing and when. They would sell your soul there if they could find a way to make you check it at the door. Click here to see the website and who it said would be playing that evening. Only 5 of the advertised 11 performers played. How were we to know? No one even made announcements as to who was playing before each act. They just kind of … appeared. Next time Sarah McLaughlin sets up a Lilith Fair tour, she should hire someone to update the site and pick non-militant venues.
3. The Weather
It was hotter than hell. Plain and simple. At one point my friend, Nicole, looked back at me and said, “Bridget, you should see your face right now. It looks like you’re in a state of shock.” I was having an out-of-body experience trying not to imagine myself as a slow-roasted chicken where every second a new sweat bead pops up and trickles down.
The Lilith Fair Wins:
There were good parts of Lilith Fair.
1.) Hanging out with friends and expressing our disappointment about Lilith Fair. “I’m so bored right now,” Nicole said. But then these 3 acts showed up and boredom was replaced with excitement.
2.) Heart
My tastes in music have never coincided with my age group. This is something I’ve confessed before. I cannot, in a line-up, identify songs from Jay Z, Taylor Swift or Justin Bieber. (Seriously, I just googled “popular artists of 2010″ because I know so little.) But, I can sing every word to Magic Man. Ann and Nancy Wilson are still kicking some serious booty. Their stage presence was top notch and their sound – still tight. But no one had stage presence like the following performer…
3.) Mary J Blige
When they played her intro set, I couldn’t help but laugh. With images of her popping on and off the screen, music that was trance-like in nature and lights that were shooting from ground up, she was made out to be a Demigod. But then after I saw her perform No More Drama, I understood why. Watching her perform that was like a religious experience. I felt bad for Sarah McLaughlin. She had to follow Mary? Man that woman can command a stage like nothing I’ve ever seen. She also covered Stairway to Heaven and nailed it. She played to her audience. In fact, the few fans who were there just to see her seemed a little confused by the cover and just sat down.
Mary J. probably should have checked her fact sheet though, “I am so blessed to be performing with the talent of Sarah McLaughlin and others like Kelly Clarkson.”
Um…. Kelly Clarkson didn’t perform that night. Whoops.
4.) Sarah McLaughlin
There is very little I can say except – Awesome. Every. Time. Awesome.
I have a cliched spot in my heart for Sarah. I’ve listened to her so much throughout my life that it’s hard to hear her stuff and not become deeply nostalgic. Like I said, it’s cliched. I’m a white, middle-class woman with a liberal mind and hopeful heart and I like Sarah McLaughlin. Shocking. When she started playing Angel, Nicole blurted, “I feel like I should be taking a bath right now.” Associations run deep. I felt like I should have been journaling in my room at my parent’s house trying to sort out why I wasn’t included in the big drinking party that the cool kids were going to. Check: Not Cool am I.
Regardless of my teen angst memories, the performance was all that I hoped it would be. Sad, slow and beautifully sung. And I wonder why more dudes aren’t into her.
And there you have it folks. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of Lilith Fair and the Lilith Fail.
