Converstation #1
At the polling location near my house.
The Bridge: Hi, I’m here to vote.
Polling Volunteer: Ok, let’s take a look here.. oh, BRIDGET.
The Bridge: Yep, that’s me
Polling Volunteer: You know, my grandmother, who was from Ireland was named Bridget?
The Bridge: Oh, very nice. I was named after my great-great-great-grandmother from Ireland.
Polling Volunteer: But she actually changed her name to Della.
The Bridge: Oh?
Polling Volunteer: Yeah, cause back then, you know, the Irish were not a well-respected people. And even the name Bridget was a deragatory term for someone who cleans houses. They just called them “Bridgets”.
(Awkward Silence)
The Bridge: Well my house is really clean on account of myself. So…
Polling Volunteer: (laughs) Yep. Here’s your ballot.
The Bridge: Thanks.
(The woman named Dorothy, in this story was probably code for “Bridget”.)
"I used to have this hilarious blog. But inevitably..."
Conversation #2
On Sir Opti and I’s couch, mindlessly watching television. The Bridge is leaning on his arm. The Bridge turns toward Sir Opti.
Sir Opti: Did you just sniff my shirt?
The Bridge: Um, well, yeah, I guess I did.
Sir Opti: (laughs) Ok.
The Bridge: (trying to come up with an excuse for an otherwise knee-jerk reaction) I’m like the penguins in March of the Penguins. They can always tell who their mate is through their sense of smell even though every penguin seems to look exactly the same.
Sir Opti: When would this ever apply to me?
The Bridge: In case I ever lose you in an Apple store.
Sir Opti: Yeah. That makes sense.
"I thought I'd find you by the MacBooks. I had to sniff so many shirts!"
Conversation #3
The Bridge and Ada sitting in Ada’s kitchen during a weekday afternoon. Reading the newspaper intermittently striking up conversation.
The Bridge: So I’m trying to think of what to do for my 30th birthday this year.
Ada: Oh yeah? Like what?
The Bridge: I’m not sure yet. I was just brainstorming some ideas.
Ada: You know what I did on my 30th birthday?
The Bridge: No, what?
Ada: I got drunk and cried.
(pause)
The Bridge: Why?
Ada: Cause I thought my life would have been different than what it was.
The Bridge: I think most people feel that way at 30.
Ada: When are you going to have a baby?
The Bridge: I feel like I’ve had a baby vicariously through 90% of my friends who have had a baby in the last year.
Ada: Well you better hurry up, you don’t want to be left behind. Otherwise you’ll be like me.
The Bridge: Huh?
Ada: Yeah, when I had you, I was 40 and all of my friends’ kids were grown. They’d say, “You wanna go out with us?” But I couldn’t. I had you.
The Bridge: Thanks, mom. And you wonder why I’m hesitant.
Ada: Oh don’t worry – it wasn’t that bad.
Not another baby!
